who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
