do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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