I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
