wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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