i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
