brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
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