She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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