I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
