so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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