your room smells of hookers.
And success
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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