How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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