If i come over, it means nothing
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
