Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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