Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
