drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
