giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
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I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder