All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We left the knife in your bed.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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