In the future we'll all be gay
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
