Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
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Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
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He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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