I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
