She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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