so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
