Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
