I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Still dying that you shit outside
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
