Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
