Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
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I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize