Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
