I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
