I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
