I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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