She announced her abortion via fbk
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize