one might say we're banned from that church
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
