Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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