this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
