So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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