sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize