you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
