Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize