Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
