got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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