He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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