Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
