Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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