if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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