My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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