dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
