Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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