**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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