My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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