The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize