I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
