she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
