drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize