SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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