she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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