What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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