It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I FOUND THE LEGS
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
