mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize