There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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