i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
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