Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
