party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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