Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
