sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just invented taco cereal.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
