No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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