weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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