Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
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