she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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