You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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